There are times in our lives when we are confronted with something so big that we are forced to take a step back and take a deep breath. We have seen it before. Have felt the dynamics of the world seemingly changing before our eyes. Too many times actually.

I remember Columbine, the death of Princess Diana, the bombings at Oklahoma City and NYC, 9/11 and too many others. Each time our hearts surged with grief at the atrocity of human capabilities. Human horrors. Human disasters.

Today I noticed online before going shopping that something happened in Connecticut. But thought nothing of it… until upon my return, Philip had the news on and saw that there were twenty children and six adults that lost their lives today. Lost. Gone. Lives destroyed.

Parents that aren’t going to have their little one come home tonight, or open Christmas presents or laugh at dumb jokes or cry over a skinned knee.

Kids that aren’t going to have their momma sing them to sleep or daddy come home.

All because of one stupid, angry, messed up young man.

How do we process such things? How do I accept that one ordinary day I could send my son to school and he might not ever come home? How do I feel such grief and not be able to do anything about it because of the distance and complete lack of anything to do but pray and cry?

I know that God is in control of everything.  Yet my human mind has such a problem of understanding any of this.

Holding AJ when he came home from school and hearing his muffled voice against my chest felt so good… and made me cry again. He was saying “Mom? what is this about?” How do you tell your kids about such things?

I have no answers for any of these questions.

I have only tears.

I Peter 1:5-7 

 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Every other time when such tragedy occurred, it was followed by Christians showing the world how to love, how to find THE LOVE, and how to survive using Christ as the Author of Life. I can only pray that tomorrow morning, that kind of history repeats itself and we find Christ magnified, exalted and lifted up. And the world once more turning to our Father for answers. As I do tonight.


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