Never does a new year begin without someone, somewhere making drastic promises, over-dramatic changes and puffed up hopes and dreams for what will be in the new year. Diets, relationships, habits are all subject to change and people all over the place call this process making “resolutions.” I call it another way to fail.
Every year I have the same ideas, the same promises… hopes etc. And with the exception of finding that guy before the year is out, I have yet to actually fulfill any resolution… ever. Have you?
Well… at one point I gave up the silly notions of resolutions. I decided that every day should start fresh. And that I only end up angry with myself because I never accomplish what I set out to do. In fact I think I wrote about that once… it’s in one of the many blogs I’ve started and never finished… I think this one is number 4 or 5.
I don’t know… a new year. A new relationship. A new family. New hope is on the horizon, but so is overwhelming things like going back to school and testing for programs and moving AGAIN!
I have sworn to myself and unfortunately to many others so many things. And I have failed them.
– I am never going to put the weight back on= yep, I did.
– I am never going to move again= laughable, moved 3 times since then.
– I am never going to give up= I give up daily.
– I am going to take more pictures and write more often= do you see more pictures or writing? NOPE!
So what could I possibly say that anyone would ever believe? Or for that matter, that I would even believe?
I do feel this deep desire, this Holy calling to go deep. To share the ups, downs, inside outs (appropriate sharing only, of course) of my heart. I know you must be thinking… doesn’t she do that already? And the answer would be yes, but. Yes… but. Yes, I do share deep, but on my terms. It took a major shove from a friend to share with you all the deepest struggles of last year. And now this feeling.
I’m going to state my desire/ resolution and not use the word “try”, “maybe” or “possibly”.
I will write something every day. And if there are no words, I will post a picture. A picture to describe the day, or hour, or feeling in my heart and mind. I will not be “pretty” in writing but real, honest and maybe a little too… me. And most of all… I will not care what people think about it, or me.
So this is day 1 of 365. My new daily encounter with you… the mystery reader…
I am going to make the most of all things made new, every day for this new year. And we shall together see what glorious mercies God has in store for us all. I am going to pray that those mercies make you and me new too.