I’ve been praying a lot lately. Seeking my hearts desire, to find my place back at the Father’s throne room. I will totally admit that I’ve been missing from that place for way too long.
Reading God’s Word and study, journalling and prayer and a peace in my heart for which I’ve been longing.
This week I’ve been in the book of James. I’ll be here a while. I’ve been reading a book that accompanies it by Beth Moore and between the Word and her book… my butt has been kicked and kicked hard.
James 1 is not an easy chapter. There from the very beginning, after a short greeting is a very sharp and pointed statement. Consider it pure joy… when facing trials of any kind. Why? Because it produces patience (steadfastness, perseverance) and patience produces the ability for us to become perfect and complete lacking in nothing. NOT perfect as in Jesus perfect… but mature and ready for whatever comes our way.
After studying this I have become aware that the absolutely last thing I do is consider it joy… I consider it a pain in my butt and I usually yell at God for daring to bring such things into my life. I mean come on… I’ve had enough crap in my life, I don’t need any more! But this passage doesn’t make any consideration for the amount of trials… it just tells us there are going to be trials and I’m to find joy and be joyful in them.
Then this morning I’m reading and right after the butt kicking on finding joy in trials is one waiting for the lacking of wisdom. I find perfect joy in knowing that I can find and receive wisdom whenever I want it, but it’s in the verses that follow that are convicting. I can ask for wisdom, but I must do it with the conviction/firm belief that God will give it to me and not doubt that He will. For it’s in the doubting that shows my lack of conviction and trust in the One who distributes the good things in my life.
So it kinda shakes out like this… do I trust God and believe that he will deliver to me the things I ask for and need, or do I trust that He won’t?
If I ask for wisdom, I better believe that He will give it to me, happily, unbegrudgingly, and generously as often and greatly as I might need it. And my mind says that if he will do that for wisdom, why wouldn’t he do that for other things needed in my life?
Beth Moore says it like this… Faith receives more than it asks. Doubt loses more than it disbelieves.
So as I’m studying… I hear a firm conviction of calling. Megan are you going to trust in ME? Are you going to believe that I have plenty to give you? Wisdom, faith, joy and hope… are here waiting for you. Are you going to open your heart to my voice?
Yes, dearest Lord, I am.