If you were one who believed that I might be able to keep a running blog everyday, I’m sorry to have let you down. But as happened last year, when things got difficult these last couple of months, I got quiet. There is much that has happened and much to write about. There is also many things to bring conflict and judgement.
My last post was when AJ broke his arm and there have apparently been 6 weeks of life between now and then.
I don’t even know where to start. There is so much. I will do this, if you, my friends, will allow it. I will reference an item of importance on this post and then write the full post those things deserve in another post- in other words, there is a lot to tell and pictures too.
In the following week or so after AJ’s fall, life was a little crazy here. Mostly because things changed dramatically in regards to Anders and my emotional state was roller-coasterish. (Read “Anders”)
Two weeks after his accident we went to Michigan for a visit, or what was supposed to be a visit. I wanted to meet my new nephew that I’ve never held or kissed or congratulated my brother and sis in person. I also wanted to see my friends and get my hair done by the best hairdresser in the world (Miss Cayla Wysocki). But instead we ended up in a severe accident on the night of our arrival. Plans changed and our life at that time flipped upside down. Please don’t worry, no one was seriously hurt. (Read “Accident”)
We came home and the following week Philip took me on a cruise (Carnival isn’t all bad people 🙂 ) and we saw a bunch of things and had a blast being just the two of us. It was very much needed and a trip that I’ve never thought I would do… (Read “Vacation”)
Upon returning home, the kids were happy (Many thanks to my in-laws for such great care for the kids) and life returned to somewhat normal. Except for dealing with high emotions and kids unable to express what’s really going on in their hearts and minds. I have felt somewhat smothered by kids who need constant attention and cuddles and assurance that things are ok. (If you know me well, you know I don’t do well with being smothered… and poor Philip has been smothered by me looking to seep some of his strength)
We always seem to be at a place of craziness. Just when things should be settling down, they go nuts again. I know, this is the pattern of my life. It has almost always been like this. But for some strange reason, I thought that when I got married and there were more things normal about my life that that pattern would disappear. Apparently not.
I know that God is always teaching, always moving and that he never changes. He’s only working out changes in me. I have to say this, before being married I had considered myself broken and understanding of difficulty. And as that might have been true for where I was, it is nothing compared to the journey that has been this last year.
Truly broken. Truly humbled. Truly empty.
I am hoping that what comes of it all is a greater understanding of the beauty of the Lord’s work in our lives. A bigger hunger for his hope and peace and presence in our hearts. And a house filled with people that bring glory to him, despite our weakness, brokenness and failure.