I knew from the beginning of our relationship that a cleft lip and palate were high in the probability rate. Philip told me early on that for him and his children that it was 50/50 they would have them.
So when I came up pregnant, I knew our chances were high. When I found out that she did have it, I allowed myself one really good cry, but it was for the loss of being able to breastfeed; not the appearance of my baby.
Yesterday, we talked to the hospital and set up all the final details for her surgery. When she has to stop eating (12 midnight- It’s going to be a long night before the surgery) and when we need to be there (6am, yikes!) and reminded that the surgery can take up to 3 hours.
3 HOURS! My baby will be under the knife for 3 HOURS!!!
Yes, the statistics are such that this should be a “no big deal” kind of thing.
I was in the background when my cousins baby went to this same doctor and had a major surgery and I thought, well it’s common and he’s got this. I’ll pray, but I know that he’s going to be fine…
Now I’m sitting in their seat and beating myself up. I DO NOT CARE IF IT’S COMMON… MY BABY HAS TO HAVE SURGERY AT 6 MONTHS OF AGE!!!
I’m so sorry I can’t seem to put myself in other people’s shoes very well. Because now that I’m in them, they sure are uncomfortable and very scary.
I’ve been playing it cool… saying that the doctor has to do over 200 of these a year (1 in 700 Caucasians are born with cleft lip and palate) I’ve also seen his work and he is phenomenal. But… this momma’s heart is still slightly on the freak out edge. Just slightly.
Some of you know me well enough to know that it’s like a dual personality thing. One minute I’m quoting stats and looking at results, listening to the Doc and going “sure, no big thing.” And the next minute, I’m hiding in a corner and crying over the fact my baby has to go through this.
So I’m begging you. If you have any ability to sympathize with this crazy mom… would you please pray with me for this thing on Friday? Doc says she has an 80% chance of coming home (outpatient) but she is tiny enough that they think there is still that 20% chance she will have to stay overnight because of the anesthesia.
Please pray for peace for me, and everyone else… for steady hands for Dr. Mann, and for baby girl that she would be a star patient and recover quickly and easily. Oh, and please pray that she continues to stay healthy. For they won’t operate on a sick little baby.
Thank you friends…